id be glad to
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
