You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
