I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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