I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
how does that bad decision feel?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
