how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
