Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
