is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He did a backflip because drugs
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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