dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
