is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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