I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
