Dual....:-)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
