the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
