if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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