did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
