we're blogging at a bar
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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