Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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