I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize