I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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