just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
