I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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