Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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