Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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