Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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