Quick, to the slutcave!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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