Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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