Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
