Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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