it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
