Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
