They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
