glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
