A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
