And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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