I heard we made out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
