I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
