so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
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I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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