loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
