Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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