last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
