if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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