yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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