I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
