There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
