hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sorry my hands just texted you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
