apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
