I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
