Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
