Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
