he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
