He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
