Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
