You work out of a Hotel?
I need to stop coming to work sober
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
