well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
