bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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