Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it because I queefed?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
