I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize