i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
People in love make me want to vomit
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
