Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
