I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I would ride that face into the sunset
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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