I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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